Last Updated on March 7, 2024 by Paola Castillo
Ah yes, the age-old question: can a relationship go back to normal after cheating? Ever since relationships have existed, cheating has existed. For some couples, cheating is considered to be the point of no return – the one act that is unforgivable and leads to a painful, immediate breakup. For other couples, however, cheating is merely a speed bump in the relationship – something they could see themselves moving on from, eventually with some relationship advice.
In a digital society like the one we live in today, what constitutes cheating is a little blurrier. In some cases, it depends from person to person, but the fact remains that cheating sucks. And as if it weren’t rough already, dating apps and other technologies have only increased the instances of cheating that occur and made it harder for couples everywhere.
Every relationship, person, and circumstance is of course different, but if you’re wondering whether your relationship could go back to normal after cheating, you’re in the right place.
Need Some Relationship Advice: How It Could Work?
Let’s face it – saying you would break up with your partner if they cheated on you is much easier than actually doing it. Relationship advice? There may be several different reasons why you’re hesitant to end the relationship, as each relationship is of course different. Whatever the case may be, certain things have to be discussed and dealt with no matter what.
If You Cheated?
If you truly want the relationship to stand a chance after the instance of cheating, listen up. Relationship advice? It is recommended that you and your partner sit down and talk everything through. Let your partner ask any questions they may have about the situation. Don’t rush it – this could take one conversation or several. Keep in mind that the entire dynamic of the relationship is now different; it’s shifted.
Trust has been broken, and your partner now is having trouble discerning what is real and what isn’t (they might even question having you take a lie detector test). In this case, there are a few options to choose from: talk it out together and try to remedy the relationship alone, decide to “restart” the relationship and start anew (leaving all the problems of the previous version of the relationship behind), and/or go seek professional guidance from a counselor/therapist.
When you cheat on your partner, there is no way to tell exactly how they will react or feel moving forward. You can’t blame them for feeling the way they do as a result of something you did. Not only is this affecting them in your relationship, but this could end up causing issues for them in their future relationships. Not being able to trust someone or discern what’s real from what isn’t can be extremely tough to process mentally.
If They Cheated – What’s Next?
This is also a good point in time to reflect on your relationship before the cheating. Relationship advice: Was it a good relationship? Did your partner treat you well? Was there always full trust in your partner before the cheating happened? Take some time to think about any other signs you may have missed in the past or just weigh out the relationship as a whole. A big thing to consider now is yourself – what will benefit you more, staying with them or leaving?
As harsh as it may be to think about or say, ask yourself why your partner would cheat. Do they care about you and your relationship? Do they lack respect for you and the relationship? Is there something else going on/an underlying issue?
The reality of the situation is that you both made a serious commitment to each other and now it’s broken. If you choose to work on your relationship and want to see where it’s at, OR you’ve been working to overcome this together for some time now, test your relationship’s strength and see how far you’ve come.
The Good News
Simply put, the only way for the relationship to stand a chance is for the cheating to stop! Relationship advice? The honesty in the relationship also has to increase, and the trust must be rebuilt. There may be one upside though. Several couples therapists say that couples who are successful in surviving infidelity can survive any other obstacle thrown at them in their relationship.
According to them, the willingness to power through something like this in a relationship shows devotion, a more logical dynamic within the relationship, and the ability to examine symptoms of the situation rather than the act of cheating itself. If your relationship is successful in surviving infidelity, congrats! You’re one of the very few.
Why It Couldn’t Work?
Statistically speaking, the odds of a relationship surviving infidelity are very low. A study conducted by GQ revealed that “only about 16 percent of couples who’d experienced unfaithfulness were able to work it out.” Relationship advice: Sounds low, right? Well, just to double-check, we conducted a small study ourselves. Our survey among 12 young adults ages 20 – 24 revealed that only 17 percent (two people) agreed that there was hope of repairing the relationship.
Their definition of the relationship going back to “normal”, however, meant a new normal. Both of them said that the relationship could no longer exist the way it had been doing so previously. Instead, a new one had to be built.
Both of these people also stated that even if the relationship was successfully salvaged, the complete trust in the partner who cheated would never be restored fully. Makes sense, doesn’t it? Even if for the rest of the relationship each person is completely faithful and honest, our minds get the best of us and question every word and action going forward.
The Answer Is… You!
If you’re still reading this, you’ve probably decided to end the relationship and start the healing process. It’s important to remember that the actions of your partner do not define you – what happened is not because of who you are. Understandably, you may all of a sudden feel a lack of confidence, lower self-esteem, question yourself and/or your relationship, and overall just feel hurt and betrayed. It’s important to take time for yourself regardless of whether or not you choose to salvage your relationship. Can a relationship go back to normal after cheating?
Again, make sure you talk through how you feel with loved ones, your partner, or a therapist. It is extremely important to get back on good terms with yourself first so that you can later have a normal, trusting relationship again.
Conclusion
Surviving infidelity is a difficult thing, no doubt. At the end of the day, no one wants to believe that their partner would cheat on them. Despite the betrayal, what is most important is to put yourself first – your heart, your mind, and your happiness. Relationship advice? Although we’ve learned that many things are easier said than done, the priority after infidelity in your relationship should only be you.
Don’t fear starting over with someone new or being single for a while. Sometimes the best medicine to heal your wounds is time. Soon enough, you’ll fall in love again with yourself and even someone else! Whether you choose to work it out or go separate ways, do it for yourself and your best interest! And remember, don’t be afraid to talk it out with people you trust or with mental health professionals.
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Can a relationship go back to normal after cheating?
It is feasible, but continuing to try will require the decision of both parties. There are several reasons why an affair can not work out in a relationship. The partnership is likely to terminate when the betrayal hurts too much or when neither partner is willing to put the hurt behind them.
Can a relationship recover from cheating?
If both parties are prepared to put in the effort to analyze their feelings and thoughts to come to terms with the infidelity as a team, relationships can endure infidelity. It takes time and patience to go past infidelity, but the couple may grow and become more resilient as a result of their healing.
How long does it take for a relationship to go back to normal after cheating?
A provisional schedule. People must realize that the shock of adultery doesn’t go away for at least two years. For two years, it doesn’t have to be horrible, though. During that time, couples can even discover that they’re doing better than before, but triggers and reminders can still happen at any time.
Can a therapist give relationship advice?
Yes, relationship therapy is a service that therapists offer as part of their counseling services. They are qualified experts who assist individuals and couples in overcoming obstacles, enhancing communication, and fostering stronger bonds using a variety of therapeutic modalities. Therapists provide a secure environment in which their patients can discuss their worries, communicate their emotions, and learn about the workings of relationships. Therapists enable their clients to make decisions and work toward positive improvements in their relationships without giving specific instructions.
What is the best relationship advice you’ve ever received?
Be together for the right reasons and have realistic expectations about relationships and romance. Remember, the most important factor in a relationship is not communication but respect. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts, as a healthy relationship means two healthy individuals. Focus on how you feel; going into the dating game fixated on someone’s liking can lead to burnout. Stop choosing what isn’t choosing you. Consider the potential for friendship and notice patterns and red flags early to build a foundation of genuine connection.
Meet Kourtney, a fashion and beauty enthusiast who tells stories through style. To her, clothing is a language, and every accessory adds punctuation to her narrative. Kourtney explores vintage fashion markets on weekends, blending classic with contemporary to create a signature style that reflects her vibrant personality. Beyond aesthetics, she's a passionate advocate for body positivity and inclusivity in fashion, celebrating diversity to ensure everyone feels seen and embraced.
