Last Updated on August 9, 2024 by Paola Castillo
When you think of the worst thing to possibly happen in your relationship, it’s cheating. Nobody wants to be cheated on. And, unfortunately, even happy relationships can end up being destroyed by trust issues and cheating.
What’s the deal? If you’ve ever wondered why people cheat, you’re not alone. Whether you’re in a current relationship or struggled with abusive relationships that ended in cheating nightmares, everyone ponders what cheating says about a person.
This article is here to help. I’ve spent the past few years researching and digging into psychology, especially regarding relationships. Now, I’m here to share my relationship advice as a self-taught relationship expert.
Let’s find out what cheating says about a person and ways to possibly avoid this downfall in future relationships.
Trust Issues With Your Partner? What Cheating Says About a Person
The good news is, regardless of their specific reason for cheating, you can rest assured that it wasn’t your fault (99% of the time). As mentioned before, even a happy and committed relationship can fall victim to trust issues and cheating, and it’s usually the fault and desire of the cheater solely.
They’re Bored and Not Committed
One of the most significant characteristics of people who cheat is a lack of commitment. They don’t want to be in a relationship, even though they may have entered into a committed relationship with you. They either fear commitment, or they tend to get bored soon after entering the exclusive couple, leading to trust issues.
Sometimes, boredom can cause a lack of commitment, too. Again, this doesn’t make it your fault. Even if your relationship was on the rocks for quite some time (and maybe there hasn’t been much of a sex life), it doesn’t make it okay for the person to cheat.
Think about basic relationship guidelines. One of the most effortless relationship guidelines is simply not cheating on your partner. If the thought comes to mind, communication and an effort to fix the relationship should be at the forefront – not looking for someone else for comfort and desires.
They’re Insecure and Lack Confidence
The unfortunate thing about cheating is that the person being cheated on ends up feeling bad about themselves, leading to trust issues. They might think they aren’t good-looking or fun enough to keep someone’s attention, and that’s why the cheating partner did what they did, intensifying trust issues.
For any successful relationship, you need to destroy this way of thinking ASAP, especially trust issues. Even if someone tries to flip the issue on you – for example, saying it’s because you never get dressed up – it’s not you. That’s just one of many excuses for cheating that cheating partners spew, contributing to trust issues.
Did you know that they are the ones that lack confidence? It’s true. Someone who cheats is looking for validation and attention, causing trust issues. It doesn’t matter how much of these things you give to your partner. They need to hear and feel it from more than one person, which results in the act of cheating and exacerbates trust issues.
They Don’t Care
Cheating antics are the antics of a selfish person. Sorry, there is no other way around it. Someone who engages in cheating is undeniably selfish. They don’t care who they’re hurting in the process. They see something (or should we say someone) they want, and they don’t think twice about it.
They’re Impulsive
Most people in adult relationships know basic relationship guidelines like no cheating. It’s not complicated. But when you’re dealing with someone impulsive, they might not think about these common relationship guidelines.
People who cheat are likely impulsive and destructive at decision-making. Instead of thinking about you and what happens to the relationship after cheating, they go based on what they want right now.
Impulsiveness can be seen in other areas of the relationship, too. So keep an eye out. If they tend to do things without thinking, it could very quickly mean that they won’t think twice about texting someone, jumping into bed with them, going out for drinks, etc.
They’re Immature
Adult relationships require a good amount of maturity that can handle the responsibility and commitment of said relationship. Well, if you’re in a relationship with someone who is not mature enough to take on these roles, then it might be destined for cheating (and failure in general).
To an emotionally immature person, cheating is a way to escape the “hard” parts of a relationship. For example, they may look to the arms of another when a fight occurs. Sometimes, they might simply like the thrill of secretly cheating, which feeds their inability to comprehend other people’s emotions and feelings.
Being an immature individual means that they will also fail to be accountable for the cheating. This can make it all the more complicated when confronting the individual, who will likely see themselves as a victim one way or another.
They’re Habitual Liars and Cheaters
“People change.” Yeah, sure. Maybe some do. But let’s be honest – some people love to lie or love the thrill of cheating, intensifying trust issues. Sometimes, they might have a combination of both, in which case anyone who wants a committed relationship should run for the hills, escalating trust issues.
Some people are indeed habitual liars, and they will cheat and lie up and down about it, even after they get caught, exacerbating trust issues. Others simply enjoy the excitement of cheating. It’s the thrill of being with someone new and possibly getting caught, contributing to trust issues. In which case, they’d probably lie about the entire thing, too, deepening trust issues.
Prevent Cheating in Relationships
Cheating in relationships is sometimes unpreventable. Remember what an affair says about a person. They could be immature, bored, impulsive, or a habitual liar, in which case, no amount of help is going to help.
However, there are a few things you can try.
- Open communication. There should be no secrets in a committed relationship. Even things that might be hard to hear should be said openly so they can be discussed. If you see a red flag, use a lookup tool to see which dating sites they are using lately instead of second-guessing everything.
- Fix issues. Issues can lead to infidelity, unfortunately. This ties in with communication. If you’re having a problem in the relationship, it is imperative to discuss it with your partner and figure out a solution before anything goes awry.
- Keep things interesting. Nobody wants to be in a lackluster relationship, but that’s typically what happens after several years together. Avoid this sense of boredom and lack of lust by keeping things exciting and interesting. Take a trip!
- Stay away from slippery slopes. You and your significant other should avoid doing things such as talking with an ex or looking through dating apps “just to see what’s out there.”
- Be clear about your relationship guidelines. Sure, there are some “obvious” relationship guidelines that most people follow. But you still need to make things clear. Otherwise, the cheating partner can claim they “didn’t know” (although we all know that’s just one of many excuses for cheating).
Final Words
We all strive for a healthy relationship. Nobody wants to be cheated on, but it’s an unfortunate part of life for many individuals. The most important thing to remember is what cheating says about a person. They’re insecure, impulsive, selfish, and immature. Sometimes, it’s a chronic problem that likely won’t ever be fixed, just be sure not to ignore the warning signs. Regardless, it wasn’t your fault, and it’s time to move on to a new, beautiful, and committed relationship.
Have you ever been cheated on? Were you ever the cheater? Why did it happen?
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People Also Asked
What is meant by trust issues?
The foundation of any relationship is trust. But occasionally, that trust isn’t as sincere or truthful as it ought to be. A lack of trust may arise if one or both partners doubt the other’s actions, statements, or behavior. Trust concerns are the result of this.
Why do people cheat?
At times, individuals who engage in infidelity may be reenacting or unconsciously reacting to unaddressed traumas from their childhood, such as experiences of neglect, and emotional, physical, or sexual abuse. In essence, such individuals may have developed attachment deficits resulting from their early life experiences, which then manifest as infidelity.
What is the root cause of trust issues?
The fear of deception, betrayal, or abandonment is what defines trust difficulties. Furthermore, betrayal (like adultery), abandonment (such as walking away from a child or cutting off a relationship with them), and manipulation (like lying or gaslighting) are common causes of this phobia.
What is considered cheating in a relationship?
Being unfaithful to a spouse or other partner is referred to as infidelity or cheating. It usually refers to violating a promise or commitment by having sexual or romantic interactions with someone who is not your significant other.
Can trust issues ever be fixed?
A behavioral therapist or couples counselor can help people overcome trust issues, but people can also take personal actions to convey their concerns, be aware of their past trauma, and be willing to take the risk of trusting again.
Do trust issues ever go away?
The good news is that you can get over your distrust difficulties! Letting individuals earn your trust is the best way to begin overcoming trust issues. It might be detrimental to put too much trust in someone you’ve just met or to have doubts about someone who hasn’t done anything to earn your mistrust.
What is the main reason men cheat?
Eight main causes—anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, lack of commitment, need for variation, neglect, sexual desire, and circumstance—were identified by a survey of 495 people. 1 It’s critical to realize that the cheater is responsible for these reasons; the betrayed partner is not.
Meet Kourtney, a writer specializing in sex and relationships. Known for her honest and insightful approach, she explores themes of intimacy and personal growth. Her work combines personal anecdotes, expert opinions, and practical advice, helping readers navigate the complexities of modern relationships and embrace their desires. Kourtney's writing serves as a guide for those seeking authentic and fulfilling connections.