One of Gary Chapman’s five love languages, quality time, refers to giving the other person your undivided attention. Multiple studies have confirmed that quality time is the most popular love language, applying to roughly 34% of people. And if you’re one of the people who fall into this category, then you must understand how it will affect your relationship. Today, we’re sharing the details of the quality time love language. Plus, we’re giving you tips and ideas for a date night that centers on quality time.
What Is Quality Time?
According to Gary Chapman, “nothing says ‘I love you’ like full, undivided attention from those you love.” But what exactly is “full, undivided attention”? It is being deliberate with your time. Let’s cover the basics. First, just being around your partner won’t cut it. Rather, you need to put effort and determination into the time you spend together. One great way to think of this is planning! A pre-planned date night will always feel more meaningful than a spontaneous one.
Next, you’ve probably heard the phrase “fully present”. Being fully present means that you’re not only physically present but mentally present. Why is this important? Your partner will know that they are your only focus. Are you constantly checking your phone? Or are you maintaining eye contact with your partner?
Last, the icing on the cake for people who need quality time is affection. And not just physical affection! Show them how much you enjoy spending time with them, but tell them too. This will help confirm the physical indicators and the health of the relationship overall.
Now that we’ve established what quality time is, how will this affect your relationship? If your partner isn’t filling your love language meter, you might experience any of the following:
- You’re feeling lonely, even when you’re sitting right next to your partner.
- You feel upset with or disconnected from your partner.
- Sex feels like a chore.
- You find yourself snapping at your partner for seemingly no reason.
- You feel like date nights are lacking, and you have to compensate to make yourself happy.
- When you spend time with your partner, they seem distracted. You might feel resentful toward specific items or pastimes, such as their phone or video games.
If you find yourself feeling this way, one of the best ways to combat it is by telling your partner directly. They may not know about love languages, especially what is needed by someone with a quality time love language. Key them into these actions, including those that cater to someone with a quality time love language!
This is a must! Eye contact confirms that someone has your full attention and that they care about what you have to say.
Quality, Not Quantity
People often confuse the two. Make sure you specify what exactly quality time looks like to you. Explain how more time spent together that isn’t quality won’t cut it.
Setting a Limit on Tech
Technology is an issue in almost any relationship. But for someone with a quality time love language, it can be a deal-breaker. Express that when you’re spending time together: tech is a no-go.
When we talk about routines, we’re referring to small but regular actions that count as quality time. This could be drinking your coffee together in the morning or a regular Sunday brunch. Do whatever works for you!
There are a variety of ways that your partner can express that you have their full attention when you are talking. These can range from affirmative words and advice to thoughtful questions. However, you can also give strong physical indicators, such as eye contact, leaning forward, and physical touch.
Quality Time Date Night Ideas
Plan a Regular Walk
Aside from getting outside and enjoying some exercise, a walk for just the two of you is a great way to catch up. Try and pick a walk that is long enough that you get to talk about more than practical things, such as work or school. If necessary, leave your phones at home!
Plan Your Next Vacation
If you’re overdue for a vacation, then plan one together. A lot of times the woman will take the reigns when it comes to planning. But by getting involved and genuinely offering ideas and opinions, your partner will make it clear that they are excited to spend quality time with you.
Take a Mini Road Trip
Like a regular walk, a road trip is a great way to get some distraction-free, one-on-one time. You’ll be able to put some music on in the background and just talk. If you have a planned destination, even better! It’s like a two-for-one date!
Have a Picnic
A romantic date, especially a picnic, takes planning. First, you’ll have to prepare the food and drinks. Then you’ll have to choose and set up your picnic area. This is a great way to show your partner that you are excited about the relationship and that you care about their need for quality time.
Participate in Their Hobbies
It’s always meaningful when someone shows interest in your hobbies. Pick one that your partner enjoys and ask to do it with them. Learning a new hobby requires your full attention, so you’ll have to be fully present.
Have a Home Spa Day
A spa day at home is a great way to combine quality time and physical affection. You’ll have to pay a lot of attention to one another to make sure that your partner is enjoying themselves. Give each other massages, meditate, or take a bubble bath.
Do a Photo Shoot
If your partner loves having photos together, then book a professional photo session. This will be a super meaningful surprise that they’ll enjoy for years to come. You’ll get to plan all the details together and enjoy fun and romantic moments throughout the session.
Is quality time your love language? Let us know how you can tell when you need quality time in the comments below (or on Instagram @successible_life). Also, don’t forget to drop your go-to date ideas when you need to fill up your love language meter!