The Best Conversation Starters for Dating Apps – Stop Getting Left on Read | 2025

Last Updated on April 1, 2025

You finally find a perfect match on Tinder or Bumble. Their vibe is correct, your astrology signs align, your interests are similar, they look good, and they even have the same music taste as you. He’s all green flags.

The pressure of sending the perfect deep conversation starters gets to you; your head is cooking up the worst pick-up lines ever heard, so you send the usual ‘hey’ or ‘what’s up,’ waiting for a reply. Hours turn into days, days turn into weeks—nothing, just crickets. You were left on read; can you relate?

We have all been there, and even with a screen between you and your match, it is still hard to find the right conversation starters without bringing up deep questions. We are usually under pressure to make the perfect first impression. This could be your soulmate, and your communication skills could determine the direction of the relationship.

You can’t relax.

In this article, we share tips and advice on conversation starters and how to make them fun, fresh conversation starters or engaging conversation starters that will increase your chances of meaningful connections. Mastering the right conversation starters can turn an awkward chat into an exciting conversation. So, why struggle when you can use these conversation starters to keep the energy flowing effortlessly?

The Importance of a Strong Opening Message

Receiving a ‘Hi’ after a Tinder match feels generic; it lacks effort and communication skills, yet a perfect meaningful conversation starter sets the tone for the entire conversation and can make or break your chances. According to a 2023 Pew Research Center report, 1 in 10 adults who are in committed relationships or married met their partner on a dating app; that is why how you slide into their DM’s matters and can be one of your biggest risks

While Bumble and Hinge prompts are available, they still lack authenticity and the connection that leads to deeper conversations. Instead, messages that are well crafted receive more than double the response rate of simple greetings. So, ditch the ‘Wassup’ and try something more creative for answers!

Personalization: Tailoring Your Approach

You are not the only person who noticed your match; they probably have hundreds of unanswered messages on these apps. The conversation starter you send should be unique and compelling enough for them to respond and have a fun conversation that showcases their character traits.

Going through their profile and noting their interests, hobbies, or info they shared on the profile (no, it’s not stalking) is a great way to create a better-tailored first message. Do they love hiking? Obsessed with their dog? A foodie? Use these details to make your message more personal.

Take these messages as an example:

• “A fellow cat person! How does your feline feel about strangers?”
• “It’s nice to finally meet a Marvin Gaye fan. He is a musical genius. What’s your favorite song? What favorite type of music do you like?

The Power of Humor

You can never go wrong with funny conversation starters, I mean, who doesn’t like a nice laugh as a first interaction? A funny opening line can make you instantly likable and set the stage for a fun conversation.

To make it a more fun conversation starter, use what is in their profile to come up with a tailored, witty opening line; you acknowledge your match’s interests while making it light. Stick to light, non-offensive jokes and be yourself, and also do not overdo it; keep it subtle and fresh.

Take these messages, for instance:

• “I see you are a  fellow traveler, so if you were to get lost on an isolated island and had no way out, what’s the one thing you’d rather have( apart from this funny guy)?”
• “So, what’s the worst pick-up line you’ve ever received? Let’s see if I can top it.”

Open-Ended Questions: Inviting Engagement

Most people on dating apps use them as a tool to meet new people, have deep conversations, and form meaningful genuine connections. Using questions that call for more than a simple yes or no answer is an art of conversation. It allows you to get to know the person on the other end, learn their pet peeves, gauge their vibes, and learn their rizz before committing to a date.

Open-ended questions are the basis of a built-in follow-up question and are a great way to sift through potential matches and save yourself from the wasted effort type of matches. Be cautious about limiting these questions; too many in succession can feel like an interrogation or interview rather than a conversation.

Try these Tinder conversation starters instead:

• “What’s a random fun fact about you that always surprises people?”
• “If you could only watch one movie in your lifetime, which would it be?”

Genuine Compliments: Authentic Flattery

@annabellegesson Using the compliment feature on @Bumble is a game changer #bumblepartner ♬ original sound – annabelle gesson

We all like hearing nice things about ourselves, like when a stranger compliments our hair, clothes, or appearance. This is a great way to ease into their DM’s by making them feel special. Trust me, they’ll respond immediately.

However, you must be careful to avoid cliche messages like ‘you’re pretty’; instead, use sincere and personal words like ‘I cringeworthy like your fashion style; what is the inspiration behind it?’. You will stand out and even get a first date. Keep it low-key to avoid overdoing it, or it will come across as fake and generic.

Here are a few you can try:

• “I love how your profile bio is both funny and interesting—where did you get that sense of humor?”
• “Your profile is giving the main character energy, and I am here for it.”

Avoiding Common Pitfalls

In summary, here are some terrible vibes cliche terms you should stop using:

• Drop the ‘Hi’ or ‘Hey there?’ or ‘How is your day’ (Be more creative)
• Giving generic compliments like ‘You’re so beautiful’ (it’s giving AI responses)
• Low-effort yes or no questions

Here are some tips for conversation starters:

Do:

• Create personalized messages according to the info in their profile.
• Use humor to ease into a conversation.
• Ask questions that lead to follow-up questions.
• Be authentic and confident.
• Use respectful language.

Don’t:

• Use flirty or one’s pick-up lines (you know, the ones).
• Send a generic copy-and-paste message.
• Be rude or cocky.
• Badger them if they do not respond, just move on.

Real-Life Success Stories

Using the tips we have outlined in this article will 90sscore you a first date, and who knows, you could be walking down the aisle in a matter of time. If you are still in doubt (hello, doubting Thomases), here are some real-life success stories.

1. Sarah (28, NYC)

Sarah asked a funny, open-ended question about dream jobs: “If you could have any job in the world for a day, what would it be?” Her match replied instantly, which somehow led to a conversation about their shared love for travel and adventure. They ended up going on a date within the week!

2. Mike (30, LA)

Mike noticed a girl’s bio mentioning she loved ’90s movies. He messaged with a personally tailored question, “Serious question: If we were in a 90s rom-com, what would be the title?” She loved it, and the conversation flowed naturally.

Adapting to Different Platforms

Every dating app has a unique aura, which means you need a personalized approach for each one. Here’s how to tailor your conversation starters depending on the platform:

Tinder
Vibe: Playful, fun, and casual.
Conversation Starters: Keep it light and humorous. This isn’t the place to unpack your childhood trauma. “You get one concert ticket to see any artist—living or dead. Who’s on stage?”

Bumble
Vibe: Empowering, with women making the first move.
Conversation Starters: Open-ended questions paired with a compliment work best. “Your travel pics are elite—what’s one place you’d go back to in a heartbeat?”

Hinge
Vibe: Deep conversations and serious connections.
Conversation Starters: Reference a detail from their profile and get thoughtful. “You said your dream dinner guest is Zendaya—what’s the first question you’d ask her?”

OkCupid
Vibe: Inclusive, progressive, and introspective.
Conversation Starters: Engage with their profile responses. “You mentioned you’re passionate about sustainability—what’s one small habit that made a big impact for you?”

Coffee Meets Bagel
Vibe: Curated, intentional, and quality over quantity.
Conversation Starters: Show genuine interest in a profile detail. “I saw you love hiking—what’s the most breathtaking view you’ve seen so far?”

Feeld
Vibe: Open-minded, fluid, and non-traditional.
Conversation Starters: Approach with curiosity and respect. “I loved how open your profile was—what’s something you think more people should normalize in dating?”

Her
Vibe: Queer, authentic, and community-centered.
Conversation Starters: Keep it fun and affirming. “You posted a meme about astrology—what’s your sun/moon/rising and how accurate are they really?”

Thursday
Vibe: Spontaneous and IRL-driven (only active on Thursdays).
Conversation Starters: Play into the time-sensitive nature. “It’s Thursday and I’m debating between trivia night or margaritas—what’s your vote?”

BLK
Vibe: Culturally connected, empowering, and fun.
Conversation Starters: Tap into culture, music, or shared experiences. “You’ve got Afrobeats in your top artists—what’s the song you put on when you need a full vibe reset?”

Taking the Leap

Navigating the Dating apps scene can be overwhelming and intimidating. As with any conversation, confidence and creativity are the keys to standing out. Conversation starters can make all the difference in breaking the ice and sparking genuine interest. Using dating apps is a great way to pace relationships and make meaningful connections, and the right conversation starters can set the tone for success.

If you take anything away from this article, it’s this: Be authentic. At the end of the day, when you meet IRL for a first date, the mask will fall off. That’s why choosing engaging conversation starters early on helps build real connections. So go ahead and slide into the DMs with some clever conversation starters. Your next swipe could be your soulmate.