Toxic Men and Pop Stars: Why Do Female Icons Keep Falling for the Same Type in 2025?

Last Updated on April 7, 2025

Let’s be real: toxic men are practically a pop star rite of passage.

You’d think global fame, talent, and bank accounts bigger than most countries would protect these women from toxic relationship disasters — but no. Somehow, toxic men keep slipping through the velvet ropes and into their hearts (and headlines).

And we’re not talking about just bad dates or awkward breakups. We’re talking situationships with chart-topping women and walking red flags with toxic masculinity, disguised as deep thinkers with guitars, podcasts, or record deals that haven’t aged well.

So why do our most iconic queens — from Taylor to Ariana to Miley — keep falling for the same damn type? The short answer to toxic masculinity? Toxic men are good at pretending they have potential for healthy relationships or being in a respectful relationship. The long answer? Let’s spill the tea.

Toxic Men and Pop Stars

Ariana Grande and the SpongeBob Scandal

@themessengerontiktok What do Ariana Grande, SpongeBob, and cheating allegations have in common? Here’s what you need to know about the pop star’s newest relationship. #ArianaGrande #EthanSlater #SpongeBob #tomkenny #cheating#WickedMovie ♬ original sound – The Messenger

First up: Ariana Grande, pop royalty with the voice of an angel and — apparently — a magnet for toxic men and toxic people.

After her split from Dalton Gomez, Ariana’s love life went into complete Broadway chaos when she started dating her Wicked co-star, Ethan Slater. You know, the guy who played SpongeBob on stage and, more importantly, was married with a baby when their romantic relationship started making headlines.

Slater’s ex, Lilly Jay, told Page Six, “My family is just collateral damage.” One sentence — and boom — the internet combusted due to his toxic behaviors.

The situation had all the elements of toxic masculine behaviors: cheating rumors, divorce filings, and public sympathy disappearing faster than a TikTok trend. And for Ariana? Yet another entry on her toxic men roster.

Taylor Swift: The Queen of Breakup Anthems

@cosmopolitan_nl Met welke van Taylor Swift’s exen zou jij er in je wildest dreams vandoor gaan?? Dit is de datinggeschiedenis van #taylorswift #taylorswiftedit #taylorswiftversion #harrystyles #joealwyn #swifttok #swiftie ♬ צליל מקורי – 𝓐𝓭𝓲

If there’s one thing Taylor Swift does better than anyone, it’s transforming pain into platinum, especially from pain from toxic people.

From John Mayer to Joe Alwyn, her past is practically a graveyard of toxic men and toxic masculinity who inspired some of her greatest hits. But at what cost?

Take “Dear John” — released when she was just 19. It’s not just a breakup song. It’s a warning label for a harmful relationship. And when she re-released it in 2023, she practically begged her fans not to go after him. Why? Because he still wasn’t worth it, and it was a direct attack on masculinity.

Even with her current romance with Travis Kelce lighting up social media, fans haven’t forgotten the years she spent in a hyper-private, emotionally gray intimate relationship with Joe. Six years of beige. Six years of toxic masculinity in loafers.

Camila & Shawn: PR Chemistry, Real Confusion

@deuxmoi #shawnmendes and #camilacabello at #coachella video by @backgrid ♬ original sound – deuxmoi

Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes gave us pandemic walks, makeout moments, and enough PDA to fuel fanfiction for years in this modern society. But beneath the surface, it screamed: content over connection.

Were they in love? Maybe. Were they also a low-key brand deal disguised as a couple? Possibly.

After their very public breakup, they briefly “reunited” at Coachella — just in time for new music drops. The timeline was suspiciously convenient. Their situationship became the blueprint for how toxic men can turn romance into marketing.

Miley & Liam: The Malibu Meltdown

@kirstykillen #mileycyrus #liamhemsworth #cheating #whathappened ♬ original sound – Kirsty Killen

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth were off, then on, married, then divorced — faster than you could sing the chorus to “Wrecking Ball.”

Their breakup gifted us “Flowers” — a literal self-love anthem that had the internet sleuthing every lyric for clues of a harmful relationship. Filming the video in his alleged cheating house? Iconic behavior and a direct strike to his toxic masculinity.

Liam wasn’t loud about his messiness, but the clues of his toxic masculinity were there. The cold body language. The shade. The emotional distance. And for Miley? Just another reminder that even the baddest of women fall for toxic men with risky behaviors when they wear a suit and smirk the right way.

Selena & Justin: The Trauma Bond That Won’t Die

@celebrityrecaps2 Did You Know How Justin Bieber Broke Selena Gomez’s Heart?#celebrity #selenagomez #justinbieber ♬ original sound – CelebrityRecaps2

Let’s take a collective deep breath for the most exhausting saga of all: Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber.

From 2010 to eternity, their on-again, off-again drama had fans hooked. But behind the flashbulbs was years of emotional whiplash, cryptic Instagram posts, and a level of toxicity that left everyone, including Selena, worn out.

Justin moved on, fast. Selena glowed up, publicly. But the ghost of toxic men past still lingers in every Jelena reference, every subtweet, every song lyric that feels a little too specific.

Why the Obsession With Toxic Men?

Here’s the hard truth: Toxic men know how to sell the fantasy of their personality traits.

They’re intense. Charismatic. Mysterious. They make powerful women feel “seen” in ways that feel romantic — until they’re revealed as emotionally stunted man-babies in disguise, a backlash against masculinity.

“Pop stars live in a bubble,” says celebrity therapist Dr. Lana Mendez. “And in that bubble, toxic men often show up disguised as authenticity role models. They seem real in a world where everything else is fake — but it’s a dangerous illusion.”

So they fall. Hard. And the rest of us watch, stream the album, and post “she deserves better” on repeat.

We Click, We Comment, We Enable

Let’s admit it — we’re part of the problem of this twenty-first century. We devour these adult relationships like content. We joke about their risky behavior. Meme it. Break it down on TikTok to demonstrate abusive relationships. Then we hit replay on the breakup track like it’s therapy.

These stories of toxic men and the women who loved them have become their entertainment genre, and it’s hard to look away from these forms of masculinity.

Final Word: Do Better, Kings

To the pop girls we worship: We love your songs. We love your art. But we’re begging you — raise the bar.

Stop choosing men who weaponize “vulnerability” and can’t emotionally regulate without writing passive-aggressive tweets. Choose men who show up, hold space, and don’t disappear when things get real.

Because you’re not just pop stars — you’re legends.

And legends don’t need toxic men. They need peace, therapy, and someone who isn’t afraid of their power.