Sex Life Need Some Spice? These 8 Things Men Secretly Crave in Bed

Last Updated on August 13, 2024 by Jazmin Thadani

Are your once steamy lovemaking sessions turning ice-cold? Are you feeling a little bored with your sex life? You can try asking your man what he wants in bed, but it’s unlikely he will be upfront and honest. What’s a girl to do to find out what guys like in bed but won’t ask for?

Intimacy is a crucial element of any healthy relationship. That said, don’t put your lovemaking on the back burner. Today, we’re talking about things guys like in bed but won’t ask for.

Whether you’re a single woman looking to entice your “friend with benefits” or you want to surprise your man with something new on your 10th anniversary, you’ll find what you’re looking for below. Get ready to wow.

Spice Up Your Sex Life

Tease Before You Please

You’ve heard repeatedly that men like to “chase” a woman. That still holds – even after he “has” you. When spicing things up in the bedroom, make him work for it. Here are some of the top ways to do it:

• Perform a sexy striptease. Most men will claim that a striptease is a huge turn-on. Buy some sexy lingerie, and a pair of heels, and get all dolled up. Then, turn on some alluring music and shake those hips, honey.
• Massage. Nothing sets the mood better than a massage. Don’t forget to light a few relaxing (and tantalizing candles) and bust out the baby oil.
• Flirting over the phone. Whoever said “sexting” was over – lied. Sending a flirtatious text at random moments throughout the day will make him want you more when he gets home. A naughty voicemail never hurt anyone, either.
• Blow job/hand job. Nothing teases quite like using your hand or mouth on his “sensitive area.” Just don’t let him finish.

Tell Him What You Want

As much as we wish it were true, men are not minding readers. They don’t know what is going on in your head, and they certainly don’t pick up on clues. That said, it’s super important to be vocal with your man – in and out of the bedroom.

What does this mean, exactly? Tell him if you want him to amp up the dirty talk. If you have some new positions you’d like to try out (goodbye, missionary position), don’t hesitate to speak up.

The more you vocalize your desires, the better the sexy time will be – for both of you.

Trigger His Hero Instinct

Um, what? If you haven’t heard by now, men enjoy being the hero. Whether saving their woman from a spider or bringing home the bacon (literally and figuratively), they like to feel like they’re the top dog.

What does this have to do with bedroom antics? When you “pump him up,” he will have a much better time “pumping you up,” too. With this new superhero complex, he will have no problem being confident, alluring, and trying out new things to bring you to the big “O.”

How can you do this? Don’t worry – you don’t have to stop being the strong woman you are. You can trigger his hero instinct by celebrating his wins, encouraging him in all aspects of life, and letting him take care of you and protect you as much as possible.

Trying Something New

If you’re getting bored of the missionary position, chances are, he is too. Why not switch things up a bit? There are a few key ways to shake things up a bit. Make the initiative to do one of the following:

• New sex positions. It’s time to dive into something new. Don’t limit yourself to the typical “doggy style” or “cowgirl.” Did you know that there are over 20 sex positions out there? It’s time to get wild, folks.
• New places. Yes, you read that correctly. Many men fantasize about having sex in kinky places, such as outside, in their car, or in the kitchen. If you’re up for it, ditch the bedroom sexy time and do something out-of-the-box.
• New people. Most people now know that plenty of men want to add an extra person (or additional people) to their sex life. While this is 100% not for everyone, it’s a fantasy for your man that you *can* bring to life if you please.
• New holes. We hate to be blunt, but let’s be honest – having anal sex is a significant fantasy for plenty of men and women. Does your man desire something risky? As long as you’re practicing safe anal sex, there’s nothing wrong with giving it a try. (He might even want to try it out himself, too).
• New outfits. Have you ever tried roleplaying with your honey? Some guys might be into roleplay so you might consider busting out your nurse or jailbird costume from Halloween.

Dominate – and Be Dominated

Power dynamics in the bedroom is something that most men want but are afraid to say. For some men, being the one in control is everything. They want to dominate you (realistically, safely, and respectfully, of course), while others want to be dominated by you. Still, other men like a combination of both. Sometimes you’re in charge, and sometimes he is.

Don’t think you have to whip out the chains and whips (unless you want to – we don’t judge anyone into BDSM). You can be dominant by telling your man what you want him to do to you, how you want him to do it, etc. Be “bossy,” and it might be the biggest turn-on yet.

Watch You or Other People

A major turn-on for guys is to watch their girlfriends have some fun with themselves. Why not put on a show before you decide to give him some of the attention? He will love to watch you wiggle and moan while playing with yourself. Needless to say, once he gets his hands on you, you won’t know what hit you.

There’s also the option to watch other people. If neither of you has a problem watching porn, try it out. Many couples claim that watching porn gets them in the mood more than they have ever been in the past. This might be exactly what you need to spark up the sexy time.

No Faking

Yes, men love to hear you scream, moan, and dirty talk. But the last thing any man wants to realize is that you’re faking it. This is a significant no-no that will crush his manhood.

If you’re not reaching your big “O,” it might be time to speak up. Tell him which sex positions and foreplay will best entice your sensitive spot and bring you to the ultimate “peak.” Guys want to pleasure you and make you c*m. Don’t lie to him.

Cuddling

Yup, we said it. Men want to cuddle, and they don’t mind being the little spoon – especially after a romp in the hay.

Final Words

Any relationship expert will tell you the importance of your sex life, but many guys won’t ask for what they want. To answer the question about how to spice up your sex life, the best thing to do would be to try out some new stuff with him. Perhaps you could start teasing him more or suggest some new sex positions. Try being more dominant in the bedroom or show up in an outfit for some foreplay. What do you think guys want in bed but won’t ask for?