Last Updated on April 22, 2025
If you are reading this, you are likely in a long-distance relationship or thinking of one. But do long distance relationships work? If yes, how can you make yours work? If you feel you’ve met your soulmate, these questions might cross your mind, but the emotional distance is an obstacle, and understanding what kills long-distance relationships is key to overcoming it and being a healthy long distance couple.
While we may consider long-distance relationships to be those between people in different time zones, you may be surprised that even having a romantic partner who is an hour away is regarded as an LDR.
Let’s be honest: Long-distance relationships have become increasingly common in recent times due to the popularity of dating apps and social media, connecting people worldwide. LDRs have mixed reviews, depending on who you ask. Some swear long-distance relationships work; others see them as a red flag. But what kills long distance relationships for many isn’t just the physical distance or the physical intimacy—it’s the lack of preparation and understanding of the challenges ahead.
What are the challenges of a long-distance relationship, and how can you make it work? Read on to find out.
What Kills Long-Distance Relationships
@chloevanberkel coming from someone in their 2nd year of a ldr #ldrcouple #ldr #collegerelationship vc: @abby ♬ original sound – Chloe Van Berkel
Here’s the truth: LDRs are often made to seem like they have a low romantic relationship satisfaction rate. However, the challenges of a long-distance relationship are similar. Finding a pattern of the challenging aspects of LDRs is the beginning of building a road map to a healthy relationship that thrives. Let’s dive into what kills long-distance relationships and how to avoid these pitfalls.
Lack of Communication
Honestly, this applies to any relationship. But what kills long-distance relationships more than anything is poor or inconsistent communication. We’re not talking about small talk like ‘how was your day,’ but deep, meaningful, consistent communication that makes you feel emotionally close despite the physical space or physical separation.
Different Expectations
Misaligned expectations? Yep, what kills long-distance relationships faster than anything is assuming you’re on the same page without actually checking. When intentions aren’t clearly communicated, one person could think you’re building something serious, while the other might just be casually passing time.
Trust Issues
One of the most common answers to what kills long-distance relationships is trust issues, or the lack of trust in general. Distance naturally makes it harder to reassure one another, and insecurities tend to amplify trust issues when you’re physically apart.
No Plan to Close the Distance
No matter how strong the love is, what kills long-distance relationships is the absence of a concrete plan. If you don’t know when or how you’ll eventually be together, it can start feeling like a relationship with no destination.
Jealousy and FOMO
Scrolling through your partner’s fun night out while you’re curled up in bed alone? Relatable. These emotions, when unaddressed, are exactly what kill long-distance relationships from the inside out. The more jealousy and fear of missing out grow, the harder it becomes to feel secure.
Inconsistent Effort
Want to know what kills long-distance relationships slowly and silently? Inconsistency. When one of the long distance partner stops putting in the same amount of effort, the imbalance can cause disconnection and hurt.
Letting Life Get in the Way
It’s easy to say “life just got busy,” but truthfully, what kills long-distance relationships is allowing everything else—work, school, stress—to push your partner to the bottom of the priority list. Long-distance love needs intention.
What Might Actually Save a Long-Distance Relationship
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Yes, now that you know what kills long-distance relationships, it’s time to focus on what can save them. With commitment, intentionality, and a strong emotional support and emotional bond, your LDR can thrive.
Consistent, Intentional Communication
Combatting what kills long-distance relationships starts with talking, daily. Make it a habit to connect deeply, listen actively, and be emotionally available through video chats, voice notes, and heartfelt texts.
Have Shared Routines and a Shared Vision
Shared routines or shared experiences can directly counter what kills long-distance relationships by building familiarity and emotional rhythm. Think morning check-ins, virtual dates, and Spotify playlists that keep you synced.
Plan Visits and Create Something to Look Forward To
Regular visits are a lifeline. One major answer to what kills long-distance relationships is a lack of physical connection or physical closeness, so planning reunions makes the waiting feel worth it.
Set a Clear End Goal
Let’s be honest: what kills long-distance relationships is the idea that it’ll stay long-distance forever. Having a clear, mutual shared goal in mind creates purpose, reduces anxiety, and keeps you both moving in the same direction.
Be Honest About What’s Hard
Another underrated cause of what kills long-distance relationships is emotional detachment or suppression. Don’t pretend you’re okay if you’re not. Vulnerability builds emotional intimacy, even when miles apart.
Don’t Be Afraid to Get Help
Sometimes, what kills long-distance relationships is trying to do everything on your own. Whether it’s therapy or simply journaling, processing your emotions helps maintain clarity and resilience.
Real Talk: Some Long-Distance Relationships Aren’t Meant to Last
We don’t want to sugarcoat it. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, what kills long-distance relationships is out of your control. And that’s okay. If you’ve given it your all and it still ends, you didn’t fail—you grew.
Final Thoughts: Distance Isn’t the Enemy—Disconnection Is
Ultimately, what kills long-distance relationships is not the mileage between you but the emotional gap that can grow when emotional connection, regular communication, trust, and effort fall apart. But with the right tools and mindset, your LDR doesn’t have to be a statistic.
So, whether you’re five towns or five time zones apart, know this: it’s not about how far apart you are—it’s about how close you choose to stay.
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What hurts most about a long-distance relationship?
Indeed, long-distance relationships can be difficult and can cause feelings of irritation, insecurity, and loneliness. Misunderstandings or a sense of disconnection may arise from the physical distance, which can also make it challenging to sustain emotional intimacy.
How to ruin a long-distance relationship?
Get fixated on the length of time you’ve been separated.
The connection is severely harmed by anything like the above. Obsessing about your next encounter will make it seem longer and you appear more needy if it feels like it will take forever.
When should I end a long-distance relationship?
You might have an innate sense that the relationship isn’t for you anymore, or it might have gotten so poisonous that you and your spouse are fighting all the time, or you might be worried about the relationship’s state at night. Another positive indication that it’s time to end long-distance relationships is this.
- Alyciah Beavershttps://successiblelife.com/author/alyciahbeavers/
- Alyciah Beavershttps://successiblelife.com/author/alyciahbeavers/
- Alyciah Beavershttps://successiblelife.com/author/alyciahbeavers/
- Alyciah Beavershttps://successiblelife.com/author/alyciahbeavers/